[Previous entry: "As cool as Jonathan and Sonia"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Perfect driving record =p"]

06.11.2001 Entry: "The most pleasant feeling in the world"

Well I woke up Sunday morning in kind of in a bad mood. I did a few things to piss Chandra off that maybe I shouldn’t have done. About a two weeks ago when I asked Chandra if I could cute Ellbie’s hair she said, “over my dead body!” Ellbie hasn’t had her hair cut since birth, except for the bangs. So I gave Ellbie a boy hair cut that actually turned out really cute. Next I did something that I probably should have not done. I let Brianna and Chandler pick out some hair dye to dye their hair. I know some of you might think that is mean, but I guess I’m one of those dads that will let my kids do crazy stuff like that.

I’ve been dying my hair since 7th grade, thanks to my mom being cool with it. Brianna wanted to dye hers burgundy because Chandra has always had her hair that color. Well not always, until she met me. I’ve always had a thing for girls with short burgundy hair so I convinced Chandra to cut her long sun-bleached hair and dye it. Brianna was really happy after she dyed her hair, it made her feel so pretty. Everywhere we went yesterday she told everyone, “look at my pretty hair my dad helped me dye it red.” Most of the people thought it was cute but a few thought different.

The next thing I did sounds the worst but it’s really not that bad. I dyed Chandler’s hair bright purple, he chose purple over green, good choice! Most of the people we saw yesterday thought he was totally cute. You don’t see that many four-year-olds with spiked purple hair walking down the street. I don’t feel that bad for doing his hair that color. I used a purple rinse for his hair, so it won’t last more than 10 washes.

So my weekend wasn’t too fun and I felt depressed most of the time. It was really nice having the kids there with me. Some times when they are there at my place I just wish I could be alone and then when there not I miss them so much. Like last night after I dropped them off at Chandra’s, I really missed them. I missed all of them cuddling up to me at night on my little futon. It’s funny how when they are there cuddled up next to me I don’t really like it, because I can’t get comfortable. But when they are gone I miss them wrapped up around me like snakes.

What I really miss more than anything is having a baby to cuddle up too. Anyone that has ever had a baby or even babysat for a baby knows what I’m talking about. You can just sit there for hours watching them sleep. There are so many things I miss about having a baby. The way they smell right after a bath, the way they smile when you look at them, the way they koo when you play with them. What I really miss is when the baby would start crying and I would rock her asleep in my arms. That moment when she stops crying, those last innocent little whimpers, right before she would fall asleep in my arms. That right there is the most pleasant feeling in the world. I’m just glad I was lucky enough to have three babies.

I’m also very lucky to have friends that care about me. Diana has been there for me in so many ways and I truly thank her for that. Maya and her Mom are the best. Out of all the therapy I have gotten for free, Maya’s mom has helped out the most. I know its because she has seen so much more than most of us have seen. Maya is my coolest little friend, just check out what she drew for me this weekend. [picture 1] and [picture 2]. I can’t wait to go to comic-con this year with her and Diana. Erica has been there a lot for me too and is so understanding with how I feel about myself and my problems. My brother Bill has always been there and it makes me so happy that he actually reads my website. As soon as he starts up at Harvard I’m going to take a week off and visit him in Boston.

Posted by Anathea @ 06/13/2001 05:15 PM PST

I know we have already talked about this, but I think you are a great dad. Kids can only be kids once. Let them explore and have fun while they can before they have to conform to what society says is normal.

I only hope my daughter wants to dye her hair.

Posted by Erica @ 06/12/2001 05:54 AM PST