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07.11.2001 Entry: "VNV (Victory Not Vengeance.)"

Today I got this hate email from a girl that used to be one of my best friends. I found her website last Thursday and read her whole journal that day. I actually enjoyed reading it because I could totally understand everything she is going through. I expected that one-day we would see each other in passing and smile saying hi. But never in my life did I expect to receive a hate email. Man, girls these days they are just so mean and un-ladylike.

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Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted
on Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 13:02:53

Questions & Comments: Well, Brian I've been contemplating this since Friday, and I just have to know.....Why are you reading my diary and why do you have me on your links list?
Do you want all your "kewl" internet friends knowing what a f--king a--hole you are? Why do you care what I write about? It's not that my diary is so secret and personal-as a matter of fact, there is nothing in it that I wouldn't say to your face. The fact of the matter is that you don't need to be privy to my life. I'm not your scandalous reading fodder. Oh! That's right, I forgot-you don't KNOW big words! Sh-t, you better go grab a dictionary before I confuse you!
At first, I just thought you'd read it and glean from it all of the "necessary information", but linking me? And even calling it cool, good and "interesting to read"? You're obsessive. And stupid.You must be pretty f--king sad and lonely to care that much. Just take me off of it. I don't want you or your creepy friends reading it. There's nothing for you to see here. No point in prolonging it or making anything worse, right? And if you don't remove me, I'll lock it up so you can't read it at all, bitch. And I just want you to know, you really should be happy.You got your wish. You wanted me to hate you,right? Well, guess what? I do.
P.S.
Your website sucks.
xox
Joslyn
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This was a journal entry I wrote back when Joslyn told me she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I never meant to hurt her feelings and I defiantly didn’t want to lose a friendship. Joslyn told me she never wanted to se me again so I did the gentleman thing and followed through with it.

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01-17-01
Last night was one of the hardest nights I’ve had to go through. I said goodbye to one of my best friends. She has always been there for me for everything. The thing is she fell in love with me and I loved her only as a friend. I guess it was just too hard for her to accept that I only liked her as a friend. So she made me say goodbye for the last time. Together we sat there on the corner of her bed crying our hearts out to each other; telling her I didn’t want to lose her as a friend.

There are so many memories that I’m going to have the hardest time letting go. She was the first friend that I opened up to. She knows things that I was too ashamed to tell anyone for 11 years. Even though it wasn’t my fault, it took her to help me realize it. So many nights she held me like a child as I cried in her arms. I understand how she feels because I felt the same way when Chandra left me. Chandra still wants to be friends but every time I see here I feel this great pain in my heart. One thing I have learned is you are better off with no friends. That way you never get hurt.
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As you can see I never wanted to end this friendship. I wanted to stay friends, but she had too many of her own tribulations to deal with. I really wish we could have stayed friends because she was so fun to hang out with. Maybe one day she will find the truth within and live by these ever so powerful words, "VNV (Victory Not Vengeance.)"

Posted by Dayve @ 12/14/2003 02:09 PM PST

she signed "xox". It sounds like a love/hate thing to me.

Posted by erica @ 07/12/2001 10:16 AM PST