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10.18.2002 Entry: "Baby Pictures"

Last Christmas my Dad made me a Photo CD with all my pictures from when I was growing up. For some reason the disk didn’t want to work in my win2k machine so I never really got around to looking at the pictures. Since then I bought my first Mac, a power book :-) Anyone thinking about converting over to Mac really should. Never have I seen an OS as beautiful and stable as OSX. If you’re working in the computer field you really owe it to yourself to work in an eye-appealing environment.

So the other day I found the Photo CD and thought I would see if the Mac would read it. I was surprised to see that it did, but even more surprised to see how close Alejandro resembles my baby pictures. I was blown away when I compared pictures of the two of us; he looks just like me. Seeing that really made me feel a lot closer two him, it may sound weird that I’m saying that but sometimes I feel so isolated from Diana and him.

I guess the reason I feel this way would have to do with how we always spend so much time at Diana’s parents house. I really like Diana’s family a lot, but it’s very easy to feel left out when you don’t know Spanish and Spanish is the dominant language that is spoken there. I guess what bugs me the most is when we are all there together and they speak Spanish to the baby and I don’t know what they are saying.

Sometimes I feel like if they could they would only teach Alejandro Spanish and not let me see him until I got a better tan and was fluent in Spanish. I also feel like they are embarrassed to be seen with me because I’m not Mexican. I know Diana is not embarrassed of me because she loves me very much. Even though I bet I love her more.

Since I work from 9am to 6pm I don’t get to spend a lot of time with the baby. This is mainly do to that we are spending Sunday night – Thursday at Diana’s parents house and only the weekends at our house in Mexico. Doing this really helps out not having to deal with the border wait in the mornings, but I don’t get the privacy that I would get if I was home in Tijuana.

I have much gratitude towards Diana’s parents and respect them very much, but it’s hard on me not being able to relax. Diana knows what I mean; the first thing I do when I get home in Tijuana is strip down to a boxers and relax. To some people wearing cloths is not a big deal but to me I can’t relax with pants or shorts on. It’s all about watching TV in your underwear and just relaxing.

The thing that bugs me the most at Diana’s parents house is having to get dressed just to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. To some people that is probably no big deal but I’m a very heavy water drinker throughout the night. I probably drink two to three glasses during the night. So about every two to three hours I need to go.

Maybe I’m just lazy, but having to get dressed, walk down the hall, go pee, then get undressed, is a little time consuming. I’m the type of sleeper that if I’m up for more than a minute or two I have a hard time going back to sleep. I’ve thought about bringing an extra glass into the bedroom to pee in during the night but that would probably not go to good with Diana ;-)

Posted by Kira @ 12/10/2002 06:20 PM PST