[Previous entry: "Baby Pictures"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Manifesto"]

12.17.2002 Entry: "For if I fall"

Enveloped in pain, afraid that I may not prevail. Trying so hard to change these ways. These emotions driving me to correct what they have wronged. My soul bound with society’s tethers cast upon me so many years ago. Like a dove caught in the fishers net my heart thrashes around unsparingly.

From the dust from which we came I shall return. May the wings of Azrael come down upon me and set me free. I’m not nearly afraid to lie within the soils embrace, than I am to breath this burning fire that emanates from deep within. For if I fall, might you grant me wings that I may fly; that I may have the courage to change.

Engaged with a compulsion to protect what I believe in. This world of mine infected by the one’s that have forgotten their ways. Society has cast darkness upon the children of man. Engulfed in sentiment my heart pounds harder than ever before. Like a child soldier beating his drum in honor of his lifeless father that lies before him on the battlefield.

Is a glass of water not contaminated with just one drop of poison? Yet segregation is spoken with utter mortification. And yet you let your children drink of this water. Letting society become the teachers of your children. Untouched by the wicked ways of humanity, they are taught one by one to hate, to fear, to condemn, as we were once taught.

My children if I could only right the wrongs that have come before you. If you only knew the sleepless nights that I prayed for you. If you only knew the pain I suffer knowing things will only get harder for you. I’m trying so hard to hold back these tears, these same tears that once brought peace to a swollen heart aching for change.