[Previous entry: "This very moment"] [Main Index]

02.20.2006 Entry: "If it was truly that simple"

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in things I forget why I am here. I have been struggling for too many years just to fit in. I can hardly look in the mirror without feeling a sense of hopeless. On lonely nights when I toss and turn I try to imagine a warmer place to rest my head. A place that only exists in childhood memories. I can not remember the last time I felt that feeling. The feeling we all devour – the feeling of belonging.

So many years I have blamed myself for this depression, this ever growing aggression. So many years I have been in hiding from this world. A world where corruption and unmoral values only brings fame and riches. A world where the week stand behind their man made God with courage. A world where our leader actually believes he is the closet man to God. All while he kills thousands of innocent children and women in the name of greed.

How can I live in this world... How can I raise a family with so many uneducated people around? I would take a pill if it was truly that simple.