I would do anything

What did I ever do to deserve this?
Every night I stay up till four in the morning,
waiting for you to come home.
I cant do this anymore, I’m tired of staying up night after night distressing.
I just cant handle the baby waking up in the middle of the night crying for mommy.
I hold her all night while your staying out.
Do you even care about your three children?
Do you even care about yourself?
I know you don’t care about me,
but that wont stop me from caring about you.

I know we took responsibility at a young age.
You were a mother at the age of sixteen, a good one too.
I just don’t know what happened to you.
We were each other’s firsts.
You’ve been my best friend for eight years now.
You’re all I know, all I’ve ever wanted to know.
Just the thought of you with him crushes my heart.
Life would be an option if I didn’t have kids.
Three kids that I love more than life its self.

I can’t handle the kids seeing me like this,
Crying all the time because of you.
Four A.M. you stroll in,
lipstick smeared and your hair messed up.
I always try to get it out of you,
I just want to know where you were.
Shut up is the only answer I ever get.
It’s killing me inside not knowing who.
But I still take care of you.

I always thought I was strong, but now I know.
I’ll let you walk all over me,
awaiting you’ll come back to me.
I know you know this and that’s probably why you do it.
You know I’ll always be here waiting.
If only I had the courage.
I would have left last week,
when I had the colt 45 to my head.
Emotions lost in fear of the unknown.
Cold metal to my head,
I sat there for the longest 15 minutes,
only to put it down when the baby started crying.

I wonder to my self how long I’ll last.
Will you ever come back to me?
I know I’ll never love again, but I guess that’s life.
Sometimes I just can’t take it anymore.
The loneliness I’m use to,
but it still temps me every now and then.
I just wish you never had left.
I would do anything to have you back with me.
Anything...


-Oblivion77-

Copyright © 2000, Oblivion77.



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