I lost my self-respect
I lost my self-respect, the day I walked out on you.
From then on nothing has ever been the same.
And I know I’m the one to blame.
I lied to you, I took advantage of you,
when you needed someone most.
I still remember like it happened yesterday.
You were nine months pregnant,
laying on the floor crying hysterically.
I still remember the tears in your eyes,
as you begged for me to stay.
With not even a single care, I walked out on you.
Destroying every promise I ever made to you.
It wasn’t long before I came back.
I lied to you and you knew it.
You could always read me like a book.
You were scared, so afraid you would lose me.
So you gave yourself to me,
to try to get me to stay.
I took what I wanted and left,
only to come back for more.
I promised you I would stay,
and broke that promise three months later.
That time you couldn’t take it anymore.
You were hurt one too many times,
by the only one you loved.
I watched with our baby in my arms,
as you laid there breathless,
while your stomach was pumped.
Your face as pale as the midnight snow.
You looked so cold,
wrapped up so tight in all those blankets.
I spoke to you, you could not here me.
Holding our baby in my arms,
I cried for you all night.
That night had to the longest night I had ever lived.
Once I got my head on straight,
it was all to late.
I destroyed the trust we had.
Time passed by, two years to be exact.
Nothing really ever changed.
You remind me everyday,
like it happened yesterday.
Which I do understand,
I hurt you deep, too deep to heal.
I truly wish I never hurt you.
Now day after day, I do what ever you say.
This guilt has caused me to let you control me.
Now the role has switched and I cry by your side,
begging for you to forgive me,
begging for one more try.
Now my days are dark, and my nights suicidal.
Constantly I feel the pain of the guilt I build up inside.
Knowing it was me who destroyed our marriage.
-Oblivion77-
Copyright © 2001, Oblivion77.
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